My partner and I have been together for 15 years.
He was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome three years ago.
He also has an obsessive compulsive personality and suffers depression and anxiety.
We had a few problems during the early years of our relationship – but the cracks really started to appear when we had children and the really big issues started to present themselves when we had baby number two.
I finally convinced my partner that he needed therapy or something similar, and to my relief, he agreed. He was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, which was a huge relief to me and tremendously comforting to him to know why he felt the way he did and why he thought differently from others; it was really reassuring for him to know that it wasn’t because he was dropped on his head as a baby!
He went to therapy for a few months and then gave up.
These days he has no interest in therapy and gets rather irritated when I mention it, which was really frustrating and upsetting for me. However, when I drip feed him tiny bits of information about Asperger’s, he says It’s like an enlightening moment in a movie when everything suddenly falls into place. He also says that he thinks he is further along the spectrum than he initially thought.
When things got really bad for me, I would go and see the therapist who diagnosed him and have a session for myself.
What I learned from those sessions has been invaluable. And for me, it’s the only way I manage to cope with the meltdowns, the fatigue shutdowns and the general craziness of it all.
The therapy was hugely beneficial for me and helped me learn coping strategies and ways to understand what was going on and how not to react and how to walk away from petty arguments.
Life with my partner hasn’t changed that much as he’s still the same person he always was and is. However, since changing my expectations, my responses and my reactions; life has got a lot easier.
Although the other night I did get caught up in one of his meltdowns and felt emotionally bruised for hours later. However, I was able to take a different view; walk away and not take any of it personally.
With all the craziness going on I decided to do something for myself. So I set up a workshop / group session for the partners.
The first one was back in February 2016 and 12 very lovely women came along.
The session was facilitated by the Cognitive Behaviour Psychotherapist Krish Nath, who diagnosed my partner.
Krish Nath will be facilitating all of the workshops we do. He’s been working with patients with aspergers for nearly 20 years and has a wealth of knowledge and experience.